“But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die. You’ve gotta get up and try try try…” ~Pink
This is one of my new favorite Pink songs. ‘Try, try, try’ seems to be the motto I have lived by since I was a little girl. ‘Try..and try again.’
As a child I had to walk down a path in the snow in the semi-darkness an hour each way to and from school, a flashlight clutched in my trembling little hands, surrounded by scary shadows and noises.
I learned to walk faster.
At the age of nine I was sent out into the forest by myself on the weekends to pick blueberries, not permitted to return home to my grandmother’s until both my buckets were full.
I trained myself to pick fast.
As a teenager I cleaned offices and stairwells before and after school to earn money so I could buy cat food for my cats and bus fare for myself (and a rose for my alcoholic mother every payday, trying to earn her love).
I learned to clean efficiently.
I ran away from home and across continents, from Norway to the United States, at age 17, with $1,000 in my pocket.
I taught myself to type on an American keyboard and how to use word processing programs.
I thought working both a full time job (boo, secretary) and a part time job (yay, Waldenbooks) while going to college was normal.
I trained my body to work through exhaustion.
The bathing of my newborn son was done in the kitchen sink with a ‘how to’ book in one hand, baby in the other, flipping through pages and following the bath tips step-by-step.
I learned how to love and parent day-by-day.
After 20 years of marriage and two children I got divorced, receiving no child support or alimony, and learning first-hand about poverty.
I became resourceful and self-taught.
I dieted for 23 years, trying every new fad and starting a new diet every ‘Monday’, all the while gaining more weight.
I had to discover a new way of looking at myself and my life (and then losing 80 pounds).
Climbing up a mountainside on my bicycle took over 2 hours of pain, crying and failing thigh muscles.
I recognized that I could endure almost anything.
Standing in the photo pit at a rock concert, holding a borrowed camera up to my eye and shooting wildly at the stage stressed me beyond belief.
I forced myself to adapt to new situations, and to shut down my fears.
At age 46, thirty years after starting my first book, I finally became a published author.
That’s when I realized I had the power of “try.”
Try, try, try. Learn, learn, learn. Don’t ever give up. Anything worth anything will burn. ‘But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die.’